November 15, 2002
The Travel Nurse Weekly Volume 1 Number 22 - November 15, 2002
Table of Contents
From the Editor
Featured Travel Assignments
On The Lighter Side
Referral Program
1. From the Editor
Welcome to your weekly newsletter!
Remember, everyone is welcome to submit news and features for
your newsletter. The deadline for contributions is Monday of each
week, but you can submit them any time during the week.
2. Featured Travel Assignments
Access Nurses now has thousands of positions available throughout
the United States. Here we provide a weekly list of our featured travel
assignments that are in high demand.
Specialty: Med-Surg/Telemetry
Position: Registered Nurse
Shift: Nights
Start Date: ASAP
Rate: $27.50/hr
Location: Yakima, WA
Specialty: Acute Care + Med-Surg
Position: Registered Nurse
Shift: Nights
Start Date: ASAP
Rate: $22.00/hr
Location: Eads, CO
Specialty: Recovery Room
Position: Registered Nurse
Shift: Nights
Start Date: ASAP
Rate: $30.00/hr
Location: Palm Springs, CA
Specialty: OR
Position: Registered Nurse
Shift: Nights
Start Date: ASAP
Rate: $27.50/hr
Location: Great Barrington, MA
Specialty: ICU
Position: Registered Nurse
Shift: Nights
Start Date: ASAP
Rate: $22.50/hr
Location: Memphis, TN
Specialty: OB
Position: Registered Nurse
Shift: Nights
Start Date: ASAP
Rate: $25.00/hr
Location: Riverton, WY
3. ON THE LIGHTER SIDE
Answering machine at the mental hospital...
"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline ...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on
the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to
the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will
tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key
until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone
number, date of birth, Social Security number and your mother's
maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and
c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the
beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are
too busy to talk to you.
4. REFERRAL PROGRAM
EARN $5,000!
Each time you refer a new travel nurse to Access Nurses we will pay you $250.00 when they complete their first assignment. If you reach ten referrals you will receive an additional $2,500.00 bonus! That’s a total of $5,000.00 for referring ten friends who complete an assignment with Access Nurses.
We hope you enjoyed this week’s Travel Nurse Weekly!
Thank you,
The Access Nurses Team